The Great House Hunt has begun....



And so it has begun. The Great Combined-Eight Last-Names 2012 House Hunt.

Here's what I hear in my head, just typing that: "For.ev.er. For.ev.er."

Please tell me you got the reference. We may be fighting if you're still lost.

Goose and I have faced the reality of our living situation. Let's just say, my third master closet-meltdown hasn't been my only one. Oh, and each of our 700 wedding guests were very gracious, which equates to us having to go on a scavenger hunt to find our guest bed. Add onto that the grand piano, third Christmas tree and 2,323,623 photo albums that I just inherited, and perhaps our reality has become clear to you as well.



One-HALF of the guest bedroom. Oh, the shame.

So, we're off....pretending that we know what we're doing, when really, in fact, we're clueless.  A few tools we've employed:

• www.har.com - for Houstonites, this is a goldmine. Basically, all realtors in Houston list their properties here on a daily basis. It serves as a nice mind-break during my day.
• Our new realtor. He came highly recommended from several of our friends who have bought homes with him recently, and after our first meeting with him, we can see why.

At said meeting, he asked if we had given any thought to what we were looking for. Ohhhhhhhh man, have you opened the proverbial can of worms now, buddy. Have I given any thought to what I'm looking for? Where should I start? With the 353,232363,23623 photos I've stored in my head over the years, or the very intense, very sophisticated spreadsheet Goose has created, revised and memorized?

In a large nutshell, here are the things at the top of our list:

1. Large Closets - Duh. This automatically eliminates 98.5% of the available homes on the market. Perhaps it is my OCD talking, but the thought of squished clothes literally.makes.me.sweat. I cannot be sweating all day, every day, for the foreseeable future. Clearly, you can see why this must remain at the top of our list. And, for the record, Goose is oddly obsessive about his closet space too. We're a perfect freakazoid match.

For the record, this is NOT my closet. Barf.

Hmmm.....no dude clothes. Interesting. Perhaps that is the source of all evils.

2. (At Least) A Small Yard - P&P are city dogs. They've lived in apartments since they were born. They survive. But, it is a tad bit embarrassing when my dogs prefer to poop on the concrete instead of the grass....which is 6 inches away....in front of other people.  We're going to see if we can break that habit and mollify my embarrassment by encouraging them to *enjoy* at least a small yard. Goose seems to think he'll enjoy gardening. I, on the other hand, know the truth: we'll have a yard man by week two.

Ok, fine, go ahead and poop on the concrete. You're too cute to care.

3. Minimal Facelift Required - I LOVE crafts. Small crafts. I do not, however, enjoy large crafts. Like, "Here, let's tear down this wall this weekend!" crafts. So, we're in search of either a fairly new house, or a completely revamped old house. As long as it doesn't require me nailing something, scraping something, or ripping up something, I think it should work. I love reading about other people's love-hate relationships with their remodels. I'm just not so sure that one for us wouldn't involve a nervous breakdown/divorce/fleeing of country.

4. High Ceilings WITH Ceiling Fans - I have a fluorescent tan. My fluorescent tan doesn't stand out to me, probably because I'm surrounded by others with similar tans, until I leave my office and merge with the real world. The world where people don't have fluorescent-lighting-from-living-in-their-office tans. So, when I am at home during daylight hours, I want a house with high ceilings and lots of natural light so I can attempt to Vitamin-D away my work-induced jaundice. (For the record, Goose does not have a fluorescent tan. He has a "I play golf a lot" tan. Harumph.) And the ceiling fans? That's just because I'm a hot-natured fool. I go to bed with straight hair and wake up with curly hair. Magic! Gross.

Yes, this is my actual office. And yes, that is a food processor on the floor and a box of Canadian cookies on my desk. Don't judge.

 
5. Symmetrical Design - I find peace in symmetrical lines, balanced objects and sorted pairs. If I drive up to look at a house, and it is something similar to this:

If you live here, I'm sorry. I'm sure you're really nice and smart and pretty.

....then I'm driving away. The end.


So, that's our short list. Don't you worry, there's a long one too. And an extra-long one.

I'll let you know how it goes after Round 1 on Saturday. Wish us luck. Hopefully we find a house covered in glitter.